Kristin Henderson and While They're at War

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Take Action, Find Resources

10 Ways for Civilians to Really Support Our Troops

Quick Tips for Organizing Programs to Help Veterans & Families in Your Community

10 Ways for Military Spouses to Connect with Help & Support

Quick Tips for Surviving Deployment

Resources for Military Families

A comprehensive list of books and online links to help you find support and information about:

Military Family Life

Deployment

Homecoming Issues

Bereaved or Physically Wounded

War, Peace & the Military

Resources for Civilian Contractor Families

Ways for Civilians to Really Support Our Troops

Yellow ribbons and American flags are just the beginning. Support the troops by supporting their families.

Thank the spouses for their sacrifice.

Write a letter to the editor, say it out loud, send a card, or leave a yellow rose. Just keep it short and simple. Intense feelings of sadness and fear lie just beneath the surface of even the strongest-looking homefront spouse and too much emotional sympathy, or worse, pity, may undo their hardwon self-control. If they're in public, they may not appreciate it if you make them burst into tears.

Leave opinions about the war at the door.

Military spouses are as diverse in their beliefs as civilians. But unlike civilians, military spouses may be relying on their beliefs about the war, for or against, to help them cope with the fear and sadness they feel while their loved one is in harm's way. Try not to rob them of that comfort. Instead, just listen.

Donate to organizations that support service members and their families.

Many of the organizations listed under the resources section below welcome your donations of time and money. Other opportunities to help include Operation: A Bit of Home, which sends needed items to the troops and was founded by a homefront spouse profiled in While They're at War. For a long list of worthy organizations, visit www.AmericaSupportsYou.mil.

Friends, family members, and neighbors can give them a break.

During deployment, homefront life is often isolated and grueling. Make your offers of help specific -- invite them to dinner, offer to mow the lawn, or arrange to watch the kids for an evening.

Employers can give military spouses more flexible hours...

...before, during, and immediately after a deployment, understanding that the spouses' home demands have doubled during this time. If activated National Guard members and reservists have to take a cut in pay while they're deployed, employers can make up the difference and reduce the financial stress on the family. And employers can actively recruit and hire veterans, especially disabled veterans.

Educators and daycare providers can turn to the Military Child Education Coalition...

... www.militarychild.org, to learn how to identify children facing a parent's deployment and help them get through it.

Professionals can offer pro bono services...

... such as the Vermont lawyers who donated free legal services to families with a deployed service member. If you're trained in counseling and wish to volunteer, sign up at www.GiveAnHour.org, or try contacting any of the counseling organizations listed on this website.

Churches, clubs, and book groups can develop support groups and social events...

... especially around holidays when a deployed family member's absence may be extra hard. Symbolic support means a lot, too -- one quilting club made quilts for local preschool-aged children with a deployed parent. Book groups can invite military spouses for a joint discussion of While They're at War, but do not forget suggestion #2! (See above) See how some churches are reaching out to military families: www.elca.org/peaceandwar/families.html

www.elca.org/peaceandwar/help.html

www.ncmaf.org/resources.htm

Educate yourself about the services available to military families.

Become a resource yourself! Many military families are unaware of the available services and suffer alone. Family, friends, neighbors, coworkers, police officers, social workers, clergy, teachers, and community service providers can help create a safety net of support if they encounter a struggling military family or combat vet and know how to steer them toward help. Check out the resources below, including 10 Ways for Military Families to Connect With Help & Support, Quick Tips for Surviving Deployment, and Resources for Military Families. Find out how entire communities are educating themselves in an effort to prevent the decades of suffering endured by isolated combat vets and families of earlier wars.

#10

Stay engaged!

Make sure your military reflects the country you want America to be. Pay attention when military issues come up in the news, compare information from a variety of sources, write letters to the editor, and hold your elected leaders accountable for how they use your military and how well they support the warfighters, families, and veterans who serve you. Finally, write Congress and tell them you support increased funding for veterans programs. Here's an easy way to identify and contact your representatives.

Quick Tips

for Organizing Programs to Help Veterans & Families in Your Community

More and more communities are coming together to educate themselves on the challenges facing veterans and their families. Typically, members of the military community join with mental health experts, community service providers, police officers, religious leaders, educators, and concerned citizens to discuss the issues and identify needs. The following is a list of examples and resources to help you plan events for your own community.

Find specific ministry suggestions for faith communities at:

www.elca.org/peaceandwar/families.html

www.elca.org/peaceandwar/help.html

www.ncmaf.org/resources.htm

Find support for local communities that want to help returning combat veterans and their families at:

The Veterans and Families Homecoming Support Network

The Citizen-Soldier Support Program

Access educational resources on post-traumatic stress disorder at:

The National Center for PTSD

Civilian therapists in Iowa worked with the Iowa National Guard to develop a model program, Operation: Enduring Families, that helps military families and combat vets weather crises and reintegrate after deployment. For more info, call Pat Wilson at 641.430.3794 or send an email to:

Veterans in Massachusetts contribute to their own healing as they visit civilian schools to talk about their military experiences and share important life lessons. Learn more about the Veterans Education Project by calling 413.253.4947, or on the web:

www.vetsed.org

In California, a zen retreat center is building bridges between the military and civilian communities while supporting military families. Learn how they're doing it at:

http://www.deepstreams.org/cominghome/

A Massachusetts college professor's community was deeply divided over the war, so he spearheaded a month-long series of events to bring the two sides together. One person can make a difference! Learn more at:

The Nostoi Project: Stories of War & Return

In Vermont, a consortium of government and citizens groups has developed one-day educational conferences. Learn more at:

From the War Zone to the Homefront

Vermont's community service providers are linking up to provide a network of support for returning veterans and their families. Learn more at:

The Military, Family & Community Network

North Carolina worked with the Military Child Education Coalition to develop 2-day events that teach educators how to help the children of deployed National Guard members and reservists. Learn more at:

www.ncpublicschools.org/militarysupport

For help getting started on an event in your community, contact:

Laurie Slone, PhD

Assoc. Director for Research & Education

National Center for PTSD

Dartmouth Medical School

802.296.5132

10

Ways for Military Spouses to Connect with Help & Support

Knowledge is power!

Military OneSource

Information hotline available 24/7. Get answers to anything, from how to find childcare providers to plumbers to referrals for free confidential counseling with a civilian therapist outside the military system. Call 1.800.342.9647 or visit www.militaryonesource.com. There's a phone number for those stationed overseas, too.

Community services center

Most military installations have one. It's the resource for all family support services, together in one place, including the military relief organizations, such as Army Emergency Relief. Call information for the number or ask where it is at the gate and just walk in. The National Guard also runs hundreds of Family Assistance Centers nationwide for all military families. Visit www.guardfamily.org to find the nearest one.

Family support program

Most units have a group of spouse volunteers who can hook you up with support services and social activities. If they haven't called you already, they probably don't know you're out there. Call the unit headquarters and they'll be glad to put you in touch.

Rear detachment or rear party

These are the military personnel that every unit leaves behind when it deploys. Visit or call the unit's headquarters for help and referrals.

Chaplains

They provide confidential counseling and referrals. Talk to the chaplain in your unit, or at a chapel on base, or at the Family Life or Religious Ministries Center. Keep going until you find one you're comfortable with. Before opening up, make sure the chaplain's definition of confidentiality is the same as yours.

Military health clinics

The staff can set you up with a whole network of services. Be sure to tell them if you're there for a deployment-related issue, to maximize the help you receive.

Schools

Talk with your child's teacher and guidance counselor for support and referrals. If they don't have information, they can probably find out who does.

Online

Visit www.deploymentconnections.org for official deployment support resources. Join an advocacy group like the National Military Family Association, www.nmfa.org. Or for informal support, join an online group at www.militarywives.com (it's for husbands, too), or search for groups centered around specific military installations at msn.com and yahoo.com. Check out the resources below for a comprehensive list.

Senior military spouses

They've been through it before and can provide advice and encouragement.

#10

Community organizations

If the last thing you want to do is deal with another person in uniform, try a civilian church, temple, or mosque, a community counseling center, or services like www.OperationHomefront.net, www.nami.org (local mental health support groups), or the GI Rights Hotline, 1.800.394.9544.

Quick Tips

for Surviving Deployment

One of the best ways to get yourself through a wartime deployment is to connect with other people who are going through the same thing. Give both official and unofficial support groups a try -- check the resources below for ways to connect online.

But even if you're not a social extrovert, the key is to stay busy with activities that uplift you and help you grow.

**Take a trip

**Set a goal for personal improvement

**Complete unfinished projects

**Start a new hobby

**Learn a new skill -- for instance, take a class in karate or CPR or poetry appreciation

**Renew your spiritual life -- deployment is often a time of deep searching so go ahead and search!

**Avoid friends or family who bring you down

**Catch up on your reading

**Exercise or practice yoga

**Breathe! Whenever you feel stressed, breathe in deeply, then exhale till your lungs are empty. Do this 5 times. It pumps healthy oxygen into your blood and has a soothing effect on the body.

There are more tips, in depth, in Kristin's article, Deployment Survival Guide.

Resources

for Military Families

Here's a list of books and online links that will help you find support and information about:

Military Family Life

Deployment

Homecoming & Psychological Wounds

Bereaved or Physically Wounded

War, Peace & the Military

Want to suggest a resource for the list?

Tell Kristin about it.

MILITARY FAMILY LIFE: Books & Online Resources

Help! I'm a Military Spouse -- I Want a Life, Too! : How to Craft a Life for YOU as You Move with the Military, by Kathie Hightower and Holly Scherer

The Homefront Club: The Hardheaded Woman's Guide to Raising a Military Family, by Jacey Eckhart

Invisible Women: Junior Enlisted Army Wives, by Margaret C. Harrell, RAND, 2001

Married to the Military, by Meredith Leyva

Military Compensation in the Age of Two-Income Households, by E. Casey Wardynski, RAND, 2000

Working Around the Military: Challenges to Military Spouse Employment and Education, by Margaret C. Harrell, et al, RAND National Defense Research Institute, 2004

www.militaryonesource.com

1-800-342-9647

Information hotline available 24/7 for military members and their families. Get answers to ANYTHING, from how to find childcare providers to plumbers. Also, get referrals for free confidential counseling with a civilian therapist outside the military system.

www.nmfa.org

www.ausa.org

Support and advocacy for military families, plus info on your rights and benefits from the National Military Family Association and the Association of the US Army's Family Programs.

www.militaryhomefront.dod.mil

Official homefront resources for military families.

www.milspouse.org

Official career, education, and relocation support for military spouses.

www.military.com/spouse

Career advice for military spouses and lists of available jobs with military-family-friendly employers.

www.homefrontcoaching.com

Life coaching to help you live a more satisfying life within the military community.

www.militaryspousehelp.com

Craft a life for yourself as a military spouse. Practical tips from authors and military spouses Kathie Hightower and Holly Scherer.

www.cinchouse.com

http://blogs.stripes.com/blogs/spousecalls

www.militarywives.com

www.military.com/spouse

www.marriedtothearmy.com

www.marinefamily.com

www.militarymoms.net

www.marineparents.com

www.emilitary.org/milpar.html

A sample of the peer support that's available for spouses and parents of military personnel. (Militarywives.com is for wives and husbands; likewise Militarymoms.us is for moms and dads.)

www.milblogging.com

Peer support and first-person news reports from the military community.

www.cfs.purdue.edu/mfri

Information and research about military families from the Military Family Research Institute.

DEPLOYMENT: Books & Online Resources

Surviving Deployment: A Guide for Military Families, by Karen Pavlicin

Your Soldier, Your Army, by Vicki Cody -- written for parents of service members by the mother of two service members and free from the Family Programs directorate of the Association of the US Army. Click on the highlighted word "free", above, and send an email from the AUSA website to request a free copy of this or any other AUSA publication.

Deployment Survival Guide

Read Kristin's article, full of quick tips for getting through it.

www.militaryonesource.com

1-800-342-9647

Information hotline available 24/7 for military members and their families. Get help for any problem, from finding childcare in your area to referrals for free confidential counseling with a civilian therapist outside the military system.

www.guardfamily.org

Help and support for all military family members, especially National Guard and Reserve families.

www.guardfamily.org

Don't live near a military installation? Find the Family Assistance Center nearest you -- they're run by the National Guard but available to ALL military family members.

www.ecrc.navy.mil

1-877-364-4302

Navy individual augmentee families, don't endure deployment alone. Find support, info, and referrals 24/7 from the Expeditionary Combat Readiness Center.

1-866-504-7092

Call to access services provided by the Dept. of Defense's Deployment Support and Reintegration Office. They're especially focused on reservist issues.

www.sofarusa.org

Mental health workers volunteer to provide free confidential counseling for military families.

www.militarychild.org

Information on children and deployment from the Military Child Education Coalition.

http://www4.army.mil/ocpa/read.php?story_id_key=8913

Tips on how to help children through deployment.

www.armyfamiliesonline.org

More info on how children of different ages respond to deployment. (If the link doesn't work, go to the address above, click on FLO Notes, then the July 2006 issue, and scroll down.)

www.ourmilitarykids.org

Youth sports, fine arts, and tutoring for children of deployed and injured National Guard members and reservists.

www.saluteourservices.org

Support for military kids by military kids from "Kids Serve 2", because when a soldier goes to war, the whole family goes to war.

www.nmfa.org

Send a military child to summer camp with other children going through the same thing through NMFA's Operation Purple.

www.ausa.org/webpub/DeptFamilyPrograms.nsf

Additional books for military children, parents, and spouses on a variety of topics (from the special challenges of military parenting to careers to the Middle East), a great list from the Association of the US Army.

www.legion.org

1-800-504-4098

Local support and assistance for military families directly affected by current military operations, from the American Legion Family Support Network.

www.uso.org/whatwedo/usoservices/formilitaryfamilies

Support for families from the USO, including childcare at many USO centers.

www.usacares.us

Community support for military service members and their families.

www.operationhomefront.net

Emergency assistance for homefront families from a privately run, civilian charity.

www.operationuplink.org

Collects donated phone cards to help military personnel and hospitalized vets stay in touch with their families.

www.healthjourneys.com

Sells self-help kits that teach practical mind-body techniques for managing stress during deployments and homecomings. If you don't see them on the home page, click on "shop" and search for "Military Stress Hardiness Optimization Kit" and "Military Welcome Home Pack."

HOMECOMING & PSYCHOLOGICAL WOUNDS: Books & Online Resources

Accepting the Ashes: A Daughter's Look at Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, by Quynn Elizabeth, www.acceptingtheashes.net

Achilles in Vietnam: Combat Trauma and the Undoing of Character, and Odysseus in America: Combat Trauma and the Trials of Homecoming, by Jonathan Shay, MD, PhD

Acts of War: The Behavior of Men in Battle, by Richard Holmes

Back From the Front: Combat Trauma, Love, and the Family, by Aphrodite Matsakis, PhD

Courage After Fire: Coping Strategies for Returning Soldiers and Their Families, by Keith Armstrong, Suzanne Best PhD, and Paula Domenici PhD

Downrange: To Iraq and Back, by Bridget Cantrell PhD and Chuck Dean

Finding My Way: A Teen's Guide to Living with a Parent Who Has Experienced Trauma, by Michelle Sherman PhD and DeAnne Sherman (available at www.seedsofhopebooks.com.)

Herakles Gone Mad: Rethinking Heroism In an Age of Endless War, by Robert Meagher -- how the ancient Greeks helped their soldiers adjust after combat

On Killing: The Psychological Cost of Learning to Kill in War and Society, by Lt. Col. Dave Grossman

Vietnam Wives: Facing the Challenges of Life with Veterans Suffering Post-Traumatic Stress, by Aphrodite Matsakis, PhD

www.militarymentalhealth.org

Worried about the mental health of you or your service member? Take an anonymous, online self-assessment test (self-assessment sometimes helps sufferers realize they need help), then find out where to get that help.

www.militaryonesource.com

1-800-342-9647

Information hotline available 24/7 for military members and their families. Get help for any problem, including free confidential counseling with a civilian therapist outside the military system.

www.guardfamily.org

Don't live near a military installation? Find the Family Assistance Center nearest you -- they're run by the National Guard but available to ALL military family members, including DEACTIVATED Guard and Reserve.

www.ecrc.navy.mil

1-877-364-4302

Navy individual augmentee families, don't endure reintegration alone. Find support, info, and referrals 24/7 from the Expeditionary Combat Readiness Center.

1-866-504-7092

Call to access services provided by the Dept. of Defense's Deployment Support and Reintegration Office. They're especially focused on reservist issues.

www.sofarusa.org

Free confidential counseling for military families.

www.wblo.org

1-800-833.6262

Problem-solving help and a toll-free hotline from the Well-Being Liaison Office, for service members, veterans, retirees, and families who have exhausted all other resources.

www.va.gov/RCS

Support BY and FOR veterans and families through local Vet Centers, including peer support groups for family members.

www.operationhomefront.net

Emergency assistance for wounded warriors and their families. NEW: transitional housing in San Antonio near Brooke Army Medical Center.

http://forum.cinchouse.com/eve/forums

Peer support for Wounded Warrior Wives, provided by Operation Homefront. Join the online discussion, or find an Operation Homefront chapter near you.

www.vets4vets.us

Iraq vets helping Iraq vets through peer support.

www.veteransandfamilies.org

A community network of homecoming support that connects veterans, their families, and employers with the information and support services they need to transition back to civilian life, founded by veterans and their families.

www.legion.org

1-800-504-4098

Local support and assistance for military families directly affected by current military operations, from the American Legion Family Support Network.

www.giveanhour.org

A network of civilian mental health professionals volunteer to provide one hour of free counseling per week, outside the military system.

www.nami.org

Local support groups and peer recovery programs for service members and their families outside the military system through the National Alliance on Mental Illness.

www.redcross.org

Counseling for service members and their families from the American Red Cross.

www.ncptsd.org

www.usuhs.mil/psy/courage.html

Info and help regarding Post-traumatic Stress Disorder, combat stress, reintegration, and other homecoming issues.

www.magisgroup.com

www.deepstreams.org

Heal yourself after deployment by learning self-care techniques.

www.healthjourneys.com

www.killology.com

Info on the psychological cost of learning to kill, from the author of On Killing.

www.marinemoms.us/USMC/vets-post-war.asp

Homecoming resources and post-war coping strategies, a terrific list of helpful materials.

http://content.nejm.org/cgi/content/full/351/1/13

After combat duty in Iraq and Afghanistan, a study on what to expect, from the New England Journal of Medicine.

https://fhp.osd.mil/pdhrainfo/index.jsp

Three to 6 months after coming home, the Post-Deployment Health Reassessment helps service members get any care they may need. Honest participation helps service members, their families, and military readiness.

http://girights.objector.org

Assistance for military personnel who are seeking a legal discharge or who believe their civil rights may have been violated from the GI Rights Hotline.

www.veteransforamerica.org

www.amvets.org

Advocacy for veterans and their families.

www.future4vets.org

Offer your feedback to the commission of veterans' advocates who are working on how to meet veterans' future needs.

www.ngwrc.org

Support and info for Gulf War veterans from the National Gulf War Resource Center.

BEREAVED OR PHYSICALLY WOUNDED: Books & Online Resources

Military Widow: A Survival Guide, by Joanne Steen and Regina Asaro

Our Hero Handbook: A Guide for Families of Wounded Service Members, written by and for wounded service members and their families. Download a free copy at www.militaryhomefront.dod.mil.

Wounded Warrior Entitlements Handbook, from Defense Finance and Accounting Services (DFAS). Call 1-800-332-7411 for a copy, or download it at

http://www.dfas.mil/army2/woundedinaction/WWEHandbook_Web_062607.pdf

You Are Not Alone: Teens Talk About Life After the Loss of a Parent, by Lynne B. Hughes

www.taps.org

www.goldstarwives.org

www.goldstarmoms.com

Support for bereaved families.

www.comfortzonecamp.org

www.rainbows.org

Support for bereaved children and children in crisis.

www.operationhomefront.net

Emergency assistance for wounded warriors and their families. NEW: transitional housing in San Antonio near Brooke Army Medical Center.

http://forum.cinchouse.com/eve/forums

Peer support for Wounded Warrior Wives, provided by Operation Homefront. Join the online discussion, or find an Operation Homefront chapter near you.

www.veteransforamerica.org

www.amvets.org

Advocacy for veterans and their families.

www.wblo.org

1-800-833.6262

Problem-solving help and a toll-free hotline from the Well-Being Liaison Office, for service members, veterans, retirees, and families who have exhausted all other resources.

www.woundedwarriors.org

Civilian support for families of the wounded and killed.

www.aw2.army.mil

Army support for the wounded and their families, through the Army Wounded Warrior (AW2) program.

www.cause-usa.org

Volunteers donate time and money to help the wounded.

Wounded Soldier & Family Hotline

Help for soldiers experiencing problems with their medical care, and their families.

800.984.8523

Medical Holdover Hotline

Help for reservists in medical holdover, and their families.

866.908.2762

asamra-ombudsman@hqda.army.mil

www.armyfamiliesfirst.army.mil

Ongoing support for bereaved Army families whose soldier has been killed in combat or by accident. Visit online or call toll-free at 866.272.5841.

Heroes to Hometowns

Helping the wounded transition home by setting up a support network for each individual. Vist the website above, or contact Scott Sundsvold at the American Legion's Heroes to Hometown Military Severely Injured Center, 703.692.2054, legion.h2h@itc.dod.mil.

Project Victory

Rehabilitation services for veterans suffering from traumatic brain injury (TBI).

Additional resources for families and veterans who are psychologically wounded are listed above, under Homecoming Issues.

WAR, PEACE, & THE MILITARY: Books & Online Resources

AWOL: The Unexcused Absence of America's Upper Classes from Military Service -- and How It Hurts Our Country by Kathy Roth-Douquet and Frank Schaeffer

The Battle for Peace, by General Tony Zinni

The Book of War: Sun-Tzu's The Art of Warfare & Karl von Clausewitz's On War

Guns, Germs, and Steel: The Fates of Human Societies, by Jared Diamond

Here, Bullet, war poetry by Iraq veteran Brian Turner

One Bullet Away: The Making of a Marine Officer, by Nathaniel Fick

On the Origins of War and the Preservation of Peace, by Donald Kagan

Operation Homecoming: Iraq, Afghanistan, and the Home Front, in the Words of US Troops and Their Families, edited by Andrew Carroll (a project of the National Endowment for the Arts)

A Quaker Declaration of War, by Chuck Fager

Soldiers and Civilians: The Civil-Military Gap and American National Security, edited by Peter D. Feaver and Richard H. Kohn

The Soldiers' Tale: Bearing Witness to Modern War, by Samuel Hynes

The Sunflower: On the Possibilities and Limits of Forgiveness, by Simon Wiesenthal, with essays by the Dalai Lama, Desmond Tutu, Mary Gordon, and fifty others

War Is a Force That Gives Us Meaning, by Chris Hedges

www.pritzkermilitarylibrary.org

The Pritzker Military Library in Chicago brings the civilian and military communities together for lectures and research.

www.usmc.mil

U.S. Marine Corps info.

U.S. Army info.

U.S. Navy info.

U.S. Air Force info.

Army National Guard info.

www.ang.af.mil

Air National Guard info.

www.goarmy.com/chaplain

www.chapnet.army.mil

Army Chaplains info.

www.chaplain.navy.mil

Navy Chaplains info.

www.usafhc.af.mil

Air Force Chaplains info.

www.firstworldwar.com

World War I info, including the very powerful poetry of that war's soldier/poets.

www.quakerhouse.org

Support and assistance for conscientious objectors who are in the military.

www.fnvw.org

Friends for a Non-Violent World, a Quaker organization, provides education in alternatives to violence.

www.rswr.org

Right Sharing of World Resources is a Quaker organization that tackles two of the biggest sources of violence, economic injustice and hopeless poverty, by supporting grassroots economic development.

www.usip.org

United States Institute of Peace, funded by Congress to help prevent and resolve violent international conflicts, promote post-conflict stability and democratic transformations, and increase peacebuilding capacity worldwide.

www.ceip.org

Carnegie Endowment for International Peace offers intelligent analysis and promotes cooperation between nations.

Resources

for Civilian Contractor Families

Civilian contractors make up the second largest foreign "army" in Iraq, doing everything from providing security to driving trucks. Yet there are few support resources for their loved ones back home. As of early 2007, only one website offered info and support for contractor family and friends:

www.icfsc.com

Many of the other resources in this section, while intended for the military, are helpful to contractors as well.

BOOKS

A Bloody Business: America's War Zone Contractors and the Occupation of Iraq by Colonel Gerald Schumacher, US Army SpecialForces (retired)

Courage After Fire: Coping Strategies for Returning Soldiers and Their Families, by Keith Armstrong, Suzanne Best PhD, and Paula Domenici PhD

Downrange: To Iraq and Back, by Bridget Cantrell PhD and Chuck Dean

Finding My Way: A Teen's Guide to Living with a Parent Who Has Experienced Trauma, by Michelle Sherman PhD and DeAnne Sherman (available at www.seedsofhopebooks.com.)

Surviving Deployment: A Guide for Military Families, by Karen Pavlicin

Military Widow: A Survival Guide, by Joanne Steen and Regina Asaro

You Are Not Alone: Teens Talk About Life After the Loss of a Parent, by Lynne B. Hughes

ONLINE RESOURCES

www.icfsc.com

Information and online support group for friends and family of civilians working in Iraq, from the Iraq Contractors' Family Support Center.

www.militarywives.com

www.military.com/spouse

www.marriedtothearmy.com

www.marinefamily.com

www.militarymoms.net

www.marineparents.com

www.emilitary.org/milpar.html

Visit these military family support groups -- they may welcome the loved ones of contractors as well.

www.militaryonesource.com

While the hotline is for the military, anyone can access most of the info on the website, including tips on deployment, children, finances, and legal issues.

www.militarychild.org

Information on military children and deployment that is just as relevant to the children of contractors.

http://www4.army.mil/ocpa/read.php?story_id_key=8913

Tips on how to help children through deployment.