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QUICK FACTS about Kristin Henderson's Driving by Moonlight 

 

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CONTACT: Blanca Oliviery, Avalon Publishing, 646-375-1065, email

 

AUTHOR'S HUSBAND RETURNS FROM IRAQ WAR

Camp Lejeune, NC -- When the husband of Washington Post contributor and author Kristin Henderson came home from the war in Iraq, she didn't know what to expect. "Every reunion is different," Kristin explains. She and her husband Frank should know. Iraq was their second war in two years.

The first one came right after 9/11, when Frank left for Afghanistan with his Marine unit. He's a military chaplain. Kristin is a Quaker, but 9/11 made her question her pacifist beliefs. When Frank shipped out, Kristin hit the road with her dog in an old Corvette, driving across America in search of some kind of peace. She describes it in her critically praised memoir, Driving by Moonlight: A Journey Through Love, War, and Infertility.

"During that trip, I was so worried about my husband," Kristin says. "He's all I have -- we don't have children. We tried for years to have a baby. But despite all the pain and the costs we kept trying and trying. The desire for a child is very primal. And humans have been making war for about as long as we've been making babies. As I drove, I was struggling with the realization that the urge to make war may well be as unstoppable as the urge to make a baby."

By the time Kristin and her husband were reunited after Afghanistan, the special stresses of 9/11 and the ordinary stresses of separation had left them both on edge. Kristin remembers, "Within a couple days, I was throwing a Styrofoam cup at him just to keep myself from slugging him, and he was shouting, 'Maybe we should call a lawyer!' It was rough."

He was only home nine months before he left again, headed for Iraq. As his Marine unit followed the fighting all the way to Baghdad, Frank either slept in a hole in the ground or sitting up in a humvee on the move. The suffering he saw among the Iraqis made him truly appreciate his life in America.

According to Kristin, "This homecoming has been completely different. It's like a honeymoon. He's more mellow than he was before, he doesn't sweat the small stuff anymore. As for me, my cross-country trip taught me a lesson, and that is, while the destination may seem important, the journey itself is just as important. The warriors themselves will tell you war is a terrible, terrible thing. Even if I can no longer believe we'll ever reach the ultimate goal of a world that's free of war, it's still worth taking that trip toward peace."

For the book tour, Kristin once again traveled the country with her dog Rosie in her old Corvette. The fall 2003 tour included 22 events in 20 cities. She's available for interviews.

ALSO AVAILABLE:

-- Book summary and reviews of "Driving by Moonlight"
-- Scanned photos on Betacam including: the author's husband in Afghanistan and Iraq, the reunion, and the roadtrip
-- Reader's questions: "Driving by Moonlight" encourages readers to explore today's challenging issues
-- Research sources on the issues addressed in "Driving by Moonlight"

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Driving by Moonlight, by Kristin Henderson, encourages readers to ask themselves some of the following questions.

1) Kristin's cross-country road trip is a trip she's been dreaming of taking since she was a teenager. Do you have a dream trip? If you could take off by yourself, where would you go? Is your dream trip a fantasy or could you actually make it happen?

2) The extraordinary measures Kristin undergoes to get pregnant force her to ask herself why she wants children so badly. Have you thought about why you do or do not want children? How far would you go to have a biological child? Do you think your answer might be different at different times in your life?

3) Like Kristin and Frank, many infertile couples are confronted with insensitive questions and comments. When an infertile couple is at their lowest point, even a simple, "Do you have children?" can be a painfully loaded question. What would you say if you found out someone was trying and failing to have a baby? If you were infertile, what would you want someone to say to you?

4) Kristin feels guilty for spending money on expensive infertility treatment when there are so many children in need of adoptive families. If you were or are infertile, what choice would you make and why? Do you think it's acceptable to spend money trying to have a biological child when there are so many children without families? What is the difference, if any, between adopting and giving birth to a child? 

5) At one point Kristin says, "It's bad karma to judge other people's dreams." What do you think she meant by that? Which hopes and dreams are worthy of respect and which are not? What do you dream or hope for?

6) Driving by Moonlight is as much about Kristin's inner, spiritual journey as it is about her outer, cross-country journey. Describe your spiritual journey. When you were a child, what was your concept of God (or whatever term you use to describe a higher power)? Do you see God differently now? Have you ever questioned the religion (or lack of religion) that you learned from your parents? If so, what happened when you questioned it?

7) Kristin left the Lutheran Church to become a Quaker. Do you agree or disagree with the Quaker testimony that there is "That of God" in everyone? Do even terrorists have something of God in them? How does it compare with your own beliefs? Do you agree or disagree with the Quaker testimony that humanity is perfectible and can be improved?

8) Frank felt betrayed when Kristin admitted she no longer shared his faith in Jesus as a divine savior. To Frank, it was as painful as if she'd admitted to having an affair. Why do you think it mattered so much to him? Is there anything that matters that much to you? What would it take for you to feel betrayed enough to consider ending a relationship with someone? How did Frank resolve his feelings of betrayal? Put yourself in his place -- what, if anything, would you have done differently?

9) After 9/11, Kristin struggles with being a pacifist when what she really wants is violent revenge. Nonviolent tactics were successfully used by Gandhi to liberate India from Britain, and by Martin Luther King Jr. to fight racist laws in America. Do you think those nonviolent tactics could be used to resolve the world's conflicts today? Why or why not? What kind of nonviolent tactics do you use to resolve conflicts in your own life? Could any of those tactics be applied to the larger world? 

10) Towards the end of her trip, Kristin wonders if the primal urge to make war is any more stoppable than the urge to make a baby. What would have to change in our world for wars to be prevented? How does your life contribute to or reduce the causes of war?

11) During their years of infertility treatment, Kristin and Frank were often in conflict. What motivated Kristin to push so hard to have a baby? What motivated Frank to resist? As you read the book, whose side were you on, or could you see both sides? In the end, Kristin essentially browbeat Frank into going along. If you were in their shoes, how would you have resolved the conflict?

12) Kristin claims to be a pacifist, yet she drives a car with very poor gas mileage, which increases America's need to fight for oil. Do you think she should try to change such hypocritical behavior, or are such contradictions just part of being human? What contradictions do you have in your life?

13) Kristin describes Washington DC as "home" whether or not she actually lives there. What do you think of when you say "home"? Is it a place, a person, a feeling, or something else?